


The New Kid's Journey

by Just_another_writer2427



Category: South Park, South Park fractured but whole, South Park stick of truth
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 13:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12889050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_another_writer2427/pseuds/Just_another_writer2427
Summary: New Kid Jenna has just moved to South Park following another rush by her parents. She has never been much of a talker, and her parents are now forcing her to pretend to be a boy to hide from God know's what. After a slow start, she is quickly swept up in the world of role playing, Knights, nazi zombies, superheroes and more.  Join Jenna as she tries to find herself and happiness in a quiet little redneck town.





	1. Chapter 1

The day before they moved, Jenna Rodriguez was sat down by her parents in their old kitchen. The word old could hardly be used to describe this home though, as they had only lived in the small house for 3 months before readying to leave once again. They had moved 3 times in the last 2 years, and by now Jenna was used to it. She hoped that maybe one day they could settle down, but it seemed unlikely.

She looked up at her parents after taking a seat, awaiting whatever discussion they had pre-prepared for this moment. Hopefully they would finally clue her in on where they were going and why, but she doubted it. They almost never did. This time however, they would surprise her with what they wanted to say.

Jenna's dad started them off by saying, "So Jenna, I bet your excited for the move! It's gonna be so beautiful where we're going, the quiet peaceful mountain town of South Park."

Her mother chimed in, "I know I am! It'll be a nice change of pace from Los Angeles, that's for sure." The way she spoke, it almost sounded like she was trying to tell herself that, like she was hoping it would be true for once. Jenna never really knew why they needed to move all the time, she liked some of the places they had lived, but her parents seemed to always have some reason to move.

Her mother cut her off mid thought and uneasily said, "Honey, there is something else this time though." The way she said that was almost ominous, and Jenna really hoped it wouldn't be anything too bad.

Confused nonetheless, Jenna looked at her dad, who also had a face of discomfort, like what was about to be said wasn't a good thing. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, her dad finally said, "Sweetie, you're gonna have to do something you may not like."

'What does that mean,' Jenna thought, whilst keeping a straight face as she generally did.  
After another pause, her dad finally said, "We need you to pretend you're a boy for the time being. You don't need to know why now, just know it's for a really important reason." Her dad tried to smile, as if this was good news, but couldn't get past an awkward grimace. Time froze for a moment there, and Jenna almost thought this was some joke her parents were pulling on her.

Her mom added, "I know this is very strange, and we don't want to impose on your gender identity, but just trust us. We are gonna start calling you just "J" for now so you fit in, but hopefully soon we won't have to call you a boy anymore. Just pretend like you're playing a game, and this will all be over quicker." The look her mom gave her practically told Jenna that she was unsure if that was true, which made Jenna all the more nervous.  
Jenna was never the most expressive girl, and rarely spoke unless she really needed to, but even if she did, she would still be speechless right now. She could barely process what they were saying, and on the inside felt angry and scared. Why were they making her do this?! Why hadn't they let her know sooner? How would this effect her ability to even make friends? She'd never had trouble before, but she'd also never had to change sexes. Not to mention the other part about all this, her sexuality.

She had never come out per say, but she was comfortable knowing she would never like boys. She had nothing against them, and in fact liked hanging out with them more, less relationship drama. She also loved to actually get dirty and be aggressive, something other girls her age generally didn't like. But, now if she started crushing on another girl, they would think she was a boy, and that would open up a whole bother can of worms. No, she would have to be silent about all of this, which worked just fine for her since she probably shouldn't talk anyway or else she may give herself away.

She didn't even know why she was thinking about that, trying to hide her gender, she should have been more outraged, and yet she knew she had no other option, she couldn't survive on her own. This caused her to feel extremely disheartened, and she let out a defeated sigh. All she could do is accept it for now, and maybe eventually try and change back. Maybe her mother would be right, maybe after some time she could simply ease back in. Maybe.

"Don't worry swee- I mean champ," her father awkwardly said. "Like your mother said this will all be over soon, uh... son."  
Her mother turned to her as well and said, "Do you have anything to say hon?" After receiving the usual blank stare in response, her mom said, "Great! Finish packing dear, we leave first thing in the morning."

Jenna, now J, got up from the table and headed upstairs for likely the last time. She looked down at her parents solemn faces, and felt worse than she had ever before. Once she got to her room, she silently cried as she packed everything up, completely defeated.  
__________

During the trip, J's parents began to prep her for the transformation she was about to begin. It started with a haircut, her dark brown ponytail was removed, and her hair was cut shorter. She felt strange seeing her reflection in the mirror, her long brown hair replaced by a shorter 'guy-like' haircut that was still somewhat long but much shorter than most other girls. She definitely looked more boyish, and so far she hated it. She was a girl at heart, and ego or not she knew she was, no scratch that, had been, pretty for her age.

They stopped off later to buy some clothing that was more suitable for a boy. She would have to hide away all her dresses, makeup and other girls attire and would be instead dressed in hoodies, guys sneakers, jeans and any other clothes her parents deemed fit. This part was definitely not bad, she hadn't owned much in the 'girls department' anyways, and outfit styles would generally be the same daily since Colorado was usually cold. The only differences were color, but this all paled in comparison to having to physically look like a boy. Had her parents just told her to wear hats and baggy clothes she wouldn't have minded, but the fact that she had to look different physically just made her feel sick.

The rest of the trip was prep for her and her parents to start calling her a boy. Mostly, it was practice for her parents as she didn't say much of anything anyways. Her dad called her terms like 'sport, champ, tiger,' and any other stereotypical dad terms for his son, and her mom just kept reminding herself to call her J and not Jenna. The more they talked, the more tolerant she became of it, and by the time they checked into a hotel for the night, she was mostly passive of it all. Hopefully this wouldn't change when she heard others refer to her the same way.  
__________

The next day, they finally arrived in South Park around early afternoon. The truck pulled up in front of their home, and her parents had begun to unpack almost immediately. She too also brought some of her boxes to her new room and began to unpack. After putting much of her stuff away, her parents came upstairs to check in on her. Her dad made it a point of reminding her she needed to make some friends and leave the house, so she put on her jacket and went outside to start a new adventure. She didn't think she'd have a literal adventure, but that's the surprise of South Park, literally anything and everything can happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon walking down the block, she stumbled upon two boys fighting with a wood weapon and a hammer. The boy with the hammer seemed to have the upper hand, but the other yelled out something about a potion and suddenly the hammer boy was yelling for help. Deciding that this could be interesting, Jenna got involved and smacked the other boy in the back of the head, who quickly scampered off whining about how unfair and cheating it was.

"Wow! Thanks for the help kid!" The boy started. "My name's Butters, you must be the new kid in town. Cartman had said you'd be here today. Let's go meet him." Jenna had no idea who Cartman was, but figured why not and followed Butters along to the house next door. Along the way Butters friended her on Facebook, something she had been used to, and lead the way to the door.

Upon reaching the door, a fat kid wearing what appeared to be a wizard outfit greeted them. "Ah, you must be the new kid. I had planned for your arrival upon receiving news from Coldwell Banker. I am the wizard King Cartman, please join us at our castle of Koopa Keep." Jenna and Butters entered the home and followed Cartman to the backyard, where a "castle" laid along with some other children. Included in the group was a boy by a shop, who she met as Clyde, another who stood guard of a cat pen, Scott Malkinson, and another boy who dressed as a princess, Princess Kenny.

After some dialogue and an explanation of the current situation, Cartman asked Jenna for her name. Before she even had a chance to respond, he had asked, "It's douchebag right?" She stared blankly at him and he followed with, "Douchebag it is." Honestly, Jenna didn't really care, she didn't yet feel comfortable talking to these boys and Douchebag could definitely be worse. "Now, we need you to choose your class." Several cards and outfits were placed before her, and she weighed each option before deciding on warrior. Maybe she could take her discomfort about being a boy out on the other boys and beat the snot out of them.

After receiving her new "gear," Jenna was brought into the confines of the castle, and was introduced to the stick of truth, a literal stick sitting on a pedestal. But before Cartman could finish explaining the significance of the stick, a loud horn and yelling could be heard outside. Quickly, Cartman and Jenna rejoined their allies in time to see several boys dressed as elves attack. Cartman began yelling orders, and she was thrust into a series of short battles with the boys, and quickly dispatched of most of them.

However, although she had clobbered many of them, her allies had not been as lucky. To make matters worse, when Clyde rejoined them, he awkwardly revealed that he indeed lost the stick to the elves who had ran off.

"Are you fucking kidding me Clyde!" Cartman exclaimed. "You had one fucking job and you couldn't even do that right. You know what? You're done Clyde, I banish you from time and space!"

"But..." Clyde began, but he was swiftly cut off by Cartman.

"No Clyde, you're banished from time and space, get the fuck outta here and don't let me see you again." With that, Clyde angrily walked off, muttering his grievances. Shortly thereafter, Cartman spoke to Jenna. "Okay new kid, in order to get the Stick back we need our full army. I want you to go around town and find my men and present them with this letter. We'll meet up after and prepare to attack those elves." Cartman placed several pieces of paper on Jenna's hands, and followed with "New kid, you fought valiantly. And for that, I think you deserve a promotion. No longer will you be Douchebag. You will be Sir Douchebag!"

Jenna honestly didn't care about titles, they seemed pointless in this game, but regardless she was having fun. She almost felt like she fit in with the boys, and hoped that this would continue on as the days progressed. Deciding that it was best to follow orders, she left Koopa Keep and trekked out towards town in search of the boys, Butters in tow.

Rather than immediately going to the boys locations, Jenna decided to wander the town as well, so she could meet more kids and get to know her new hometown. Along the way she ran into plenty of elves, but they were no match for her skill, she easily beat the shit out of those that faced her. Even the adult Mongolians she fought were no match for her combos with Butters, but she was having fun and that's all she honestly cared about.

By the time she got to Tweek Coffee, she had already amassed a list of friends on Facebook and defeated her fair share of elves. She met Al Gore and listened to his bullshit spiel that she had no context for about some "manbearpig." She found Jesus twice and friended him, which caused her to question religion in general but that wasn't that important. She even saved a girl her age from bullies, who even called her cute, which she had no idea how to take since she guessed the girl thought Jenna was a boy. It was as though she went on tons of adventures, and yet almost no time had passed for the day, and she knew she had plenty left to do before she went home tonight.

She found Tweak inside the shop's back room cleaning and ranting. He seemed freaked out, which somehow increased after seeing the letter from Cartman.

"Oh man, I can't play right now! I have so much to do, so much pressure!" Just as all hope seemed lost for him to play, he made a realization and said, "Hey, if you go get my 4 o'clock delivery, I'll still have time to play if I get these chores done now! Go to Kenny's house and give them this letter. They'll give you the delivery."

Jenna hadn't gone to that part of town yet, and was interested to see where Princess Kenny lived. Surprisingly, Kenny's home was in the poor side of town, and the product he was getting was out of Kenny's garage. She handed the envelope to the druggies inside, and their intelligence lead them to conclude she was a narc, so they attacked her and Butters. After a swift asswhooping, she found the package she was sent for, and traveled back to Tweek Coffee with it.

After resolving that issue, she headed over to Token Black's home to recruit him. Unfortunately the guard out front refused to let her in, and pepper sprayed her. Making the intelligent decision, she went over to Jimbo's Guns and bought a gasmask for the pepper spray. This freaked the guard out, as he seemingly never dealt with someone immune to his tactics, and he went on the offensive just to get beat up as well. Besides that, she was able to deliver the message without a hitch and thus Token headed to Koopa Keep as well.

The last individual to be picked up was Craig, but upon going to his home early on in her adventure, it was revealed he was in detention. With that in mind she went back to Cartman's to await his orders for the retreival of Craig. Before battle plans were to be discussed however, Cartman pulled Jenna aside to discuss magic in the game.

"So Sir Douchebag, you seem to be growing stronger. You are now ready to learn about magic in this world. Observe." Cartman waddled over to the training dummies on the side and prepared himself. "Watch me New Kid. First, suck in through your ass. Feel for the rumble, and then, Dragonshout!" He proceeded to rip ass an unbelievable amount, causing the dummy to shift around. "Now you try."

Jenna had no desire to attempt this, nor did she think she had it in herself to perform this feat. She was no girly girl but this seemed a little too weird. But, she knew that if she didn't try, she may get kicked out and laughed at, and she did not need that to happen on the first day of living in Soith Park. So she swallowed her pride and slowly approached the dummy, Cartman's fart still pungent in the air. He proceeded to explain how to do it again, and she bent over to try and attempt.

What happened next surprised her and Cartman. The Dragonshout she released was much more powerful than Cartman's had been, and the force nearly ripped the dummy from the ground. Cartman was so in awe that he decided that he wanted to test her power on someone, and called Princess Kenny over. Jenna again bent over, and ripped one just as hard as the last, completely disorienting Kenny and causing Cartman to bust a gut laughing. But, he soon turned serious and approached Jenna.

"Now remember Douchebag, your farts are powerful, but there is one thing. You must never, ever, fart on another man's balls. Do you understand? You, do not, fart on another man's balls. I'm super serious."

With that explained, albeit without any real explanation, Cartman gathered the group around and began his rant.


	3. Chapter 3

Cartman had not been happy that Craig was in detention, and made the decision that they would break him out. Jenna didn't really understand why, as she had been having no trouble so far with anyone, and having a couple extra goons seemed efficient enough to her. But, she didn't make the rules, and so she went to the elementary school to free Craig. 

Upon arriving at the school, she was greeted by a ginger boy who seemed to be the hall monitor. He refused to let them pass and threatened to call someone named Mr. Mackey, so Jenna decided to resolve this like everything else, by beating the snot out of him with Butters and Kenny. Before she got the last hit in though, he called for reinforcements and told whoever was in charge of their arrival. This lead to several run ins with gingers, of which she may or may not have accidentally killed a couple with the 'magic' Cartman had taught her. 

The power was so great it caused many open flames to explode, causing significant damage to the school and knocking out and/or killing some of the kids. She hoped it was the prior, but she knew a couple probably wouldn't get up anytime soon. That wasn't important though, so she progressed on to find the key to open the gym and free Craig. 

After finding the correct key, she was greeted by what looked like the head hall monitor, who for once almost was a challenge. As usual however, she ended up thrashing him with Kenny's and Butters' help and opened the doors. Every kid inside quickly scurried out, including Craig, followed by who she presumed to be Mr. Mackey screaming "Damn you Craig!!!"

Outside, Craig had asked her for her name, but as she generally did, she gave him a straight face and no words. He didn't seem to really care, and they both headed back to Cartman's with Butters and Kenny in tow. 

Back at Koopa Keep, Cartman laid out the details of their mission. "Alright guys, so now that our army is together, we will now fight to get the Stick back. We have intercepted communication through carrier pigeons that the Stick still has not been returned to the Elf King, and is in fact with... The Bard."

A couple boys gasped and began to become worried. Butters said, "The Bard! He's too powerful, there's now way we can defeat him!" 

"That's not true Butters," Cartman began. "We have a secret weapon... The New Kid. New Kid, I'm going to teach you another magic technique. Follow me to the training grounds."

Jenna followed Cartman over to the dummies once again. "Now, I'm going to show you this new skill. Some enemies are farther away, out of reach from Dragonshout. In order to hit them, I will teach you how to cup a spell." Cartman proceeded to lean over with his hand over his ass, fart into it, and throw it at the dummy from a decent distance away. Jenna had no idea how that actually worked, but honestly wouldn't be surprised if she'd be able to as well. She had been surprising herself all day with her tenacity and grit, so maybe tossing a fart wouldn't be that hard. 

She then took position and followed the instructions given to her by Cartman, and instantly perfected the move, tossing the fart with ease and hitting the dummy hard. 

"That's it!" Cartman exclaimed. "You've done well New Kid, but we must still test this on a real person. Hey Scott, come here a second!" Cartman began to giggle and whisper, "Don't tell him what I taught you." After composing himself, he said, "Scott, I want you to spar with the New Kid. New Kid, I want you to show your new technique off on Scott." 

Jenna honestly felt bad for the little diabetic boy, but a command was a command, and she tossed the fart right into his face, nearly knocking him out. This pleased Cartman to no end, and with that he felt they were sufficiently ready to defeat The Bard. 

The group soon arrived at a house which Cartman had referred to as the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. Inside, several boys were seated at various little tables, talking, drinking and hanging out, and one was stationed behind a bar. Cartman asked him for a drink, then asked, "So, has The Bard been around recently?" This instantly silenced the room, and all eyes were on Jenna, Cartman and the part of the group that had come in. After a moment, Cartman followed with, "I meant, what better way to enjoy my drink than with some bardic poems and songs." This changed nothing and the room continued to stay silent. 

"Sure he has," the barkeep responded. "In fact, he is downstairs right now if you'd like to see him." 

"Perfect," Cartman replied, "Sir Douchebag, head down there and flush him out. We'll be waiting up here to beat him up and grab the stick."

With that, Jenna headed for the basement, which was dimly lit with obstacles all around. Upon reaching the end of the little maze they designed, he came face to face with a cripple boy with crutches and a little hat, most likely The Bard.   
Before she could attack, a called some goons out, who she had to fight on her own. This became much tougher with The Bard's songs taunting her and helping their confidence, but after some tough hits, she finally dispatched the last of them. 

The Bard quickly hobbled his way out, calling for more goons who had seemingly captured Cartman and Kenny upstairs. Jenna quickly defeated the leftover elves and headed for the stair to help her friends. 

She found Cartman on the floor of the kitchen getting kicked while he laid defeated, and she beat up the remains guys around him. Afterwords, she helped her other friends get in and went upstairs to save Princess Kenny. 

Some noises came from a bedroom, and she busted in to see Kenny tied up on a bed and an elf jumping up and down next to her for no discernible reason. Jenna made some quick moves, destroyed more of the house, and freed Kenny. They then went back into the hall, where they found the rest of their friends attempting to enter another bedroom to no avail. 

"That's cheating!" Cartman yelled. "You can't hold the doorknob, that's bullshit."

"Nuh uh," The Bard, who she had learned was named Jimmy, replied. "I have the Stick, so I can do whatever I want now."

"Can he do that?" Cartman questioned. No one new, so they had to figure out another way in. Kenny came in handy here by flashing his "breasts" at a boy in the attic, who stupidly let down the ladder to try and cop a feel. Kenny smacked the shit out of him, and Jenna and Kenny then went up to the attic to look for another entrance. This would be made by Douchebag smashing a box which fell straight through the weak floor into the bedroom Jimmy was hiding in. 

The battle between the two was quite challenging, as the Bard called in reinforcements and utilized the infamous brown note several times to make them shit themselves. It was honestly disgusting, but the battle was ended victorious by the army of man. 

Cartman took the stick and called for a retreat, as the day had been one. Jenna was told to go home since it was getting late, and honestly she was just fine with that. She had kicked the crap out of so many people that day and needed a rest if they'd have more battles to come in the morning, so she rushed home. 

She was met by her parents sitting on the couch watching tv, who asked her how she was enjoying the town. Her dad still utilized "male" identifiers, which annoyed her to no end, but she figured she didn't see him much anyways so it could have been worse. After some more mindless and awkward small talk, of which she said none, she went upstairs to sleep. she wouldnt get to rest long however, once a green glow became visible and she came face to face with something not from this world.


	4. Chapter 4

It was as though Jenna was in a lucid dream. She was dragged through a corridor by aliens, completely bewildered by what was happening. Her mind could barely wrap around what was happening, she hadn't ever believed in aliens prior, and yet now she was being abducted by them, like every rumor she had heard before. She watched as several townspeople were being strapped half conscious to tables, and being probed for no discernible reason, although it was more like being fucked in the ass. She saw Mr. Mackey, Craig and Mr. Slave amongst the victims, the latter seemingly enjoying it. The situation was overall horrifying, and she had no idea what to do. 

She was strapped down to her own table, and a probe was set behind her. What happened next was a blur, and definitely scaring, but long story short she broke the second probe after the first broke and now had some sort of machine in her ass. Bewildered, she jumped off the table and tried to gather her bearings. 

Randy Marsh was placed on the adjacent table to hers, and had watched her escape. Impressed, he attempted to assist her in understanding what was occurring and giving her some clues on what to do. Using her ass muscles, she conjured out the device and was able to teleport utilizing a machine in the corner. This was all very confusing and uncomfortable, but having a new tool helped her move throughout the ship.

Jenna searched around for a way to assist Randy since he seemed to know what was happening, and she wandered the ship for some sort of terminal to assist him. She was forced to battle several groups of aliens, and listened to several audio recordings from a man bewildered by the sheer number he had found. It would have been comical had she not been on an alien ship. 

Eventually, she found the right terminal, allowing her access to his table, and headed back to the room she had started in. However, along the way, she found the man she had guessed had left all of the recordings, but he looked green now and was speaking in what sounded like a prerecorded Nazi propaganda message. She didn't have time to fully grasp what was happening then, and so she beat him quick, freed Randy, and attempted to escape. The actions Jenna took however had a seemingly disastrous effect though, as defeating the pilots of the ship left no one to fly, and they crashed. 

\--------  
The last thing Jenna remembered was the impact, and yet here she was waking in her bed. Confused, she went downstairs, with nothing seemingly different from the day before. She went to the front door, and was stopped by Cartman who had been waiting for her outside. He informed her of the current situation, there had been a loud explosion and crash. The worst part though was that he claimed the stick she had worked so hard to get was swooped during the madness. 

Cartman told her she had to get more allies, and gave her a letter of introduction for the goths. She was to get them on their side to assist in defeating the Eve's once and for all. She sighed, knowing she would have to go on a bogus set of quests in order to get them, but figured she should just keep her mouth shut as was tradition. 

She journeyed back to school to find the goths, who told her she was too dweeby for them, and in order for her to get their help she would have to prove how goth she was. She therefore had to travel around to gather cigs, coffee and goth clothes from random locations in order to meet there demands. However, after acquiring the coffee from Tweak Coffee, she was met outside by several elves who had been waiting for her. 

"Alright new kid, come with us. Our King would like to meet. And don't even think about fighting us right now, it would be pointless." Jenna was definitely not a quitter nor was she afraid of these elves, so she prepared to jump into action to battle it out, just to get cranked in the back of the head by one kid's hammer, and knocked out for the second time that day. 

When she finally awoke, she was being brought to a green home, and brought forth to the elf King, Kyle...


	5. Chapter 5

Jenna had been brought to the Elf King, who sat upon a throne accompanied by two other boys, The Bard Jimmy and another boy who she had not met yet wielding a large sword. 

After a quick discussion with his men, Kyle began to speak to Jenna. "You're fighting for the wrong side Kid. The Wizard Fatass is manipulating you into thinking we have stolen the stick and for all out war to begin. We have received word from carrier pigeon that he still holds it."

Jenna stared at him plain faced, processing and contemplating his description. It wasn't unlikely that Cartman had lied, he seemed to be a sociopath on some level from what she could tell. But, he had also taken her in first, and therefore she felt a little more inclined to trust him before these elves whom she had been fighting all this time. 

"Look New Kid, we need your help if we are going to defeat the humans. You need to understand that Cartman is the enemy, and we would like you on our side. You were sent to get the goth kids to fight correct? Do that still, but rather than bring them to the humans side, bring them to ours instead." 

Jenna was hit with a conundrum, she could continue supporting Cartman and his men or turn on him and support these elves. She knew she'd have to decide sooner or later, but for now continued to keep quiet. If anything, this alliance would help keep the elves from constantly attacking her at every turn. 

After she listened to Kyle talk more on the situation, Jenna was introduced to her two new buddies, Jimmy and the warrior, whom she learned was Stan Marsh, the son of the goofball Randy who she met in the alien ship. They had both asked for her assistance, to which she agreed to help, and once again embarked theoughoit the town. 

Her first stop had been Stan's home, where his sister had taken his phone. At first, Jenna had expected that he had instigated the situation, so she was not worried when she went upstairs to his sister Shelly's room. However, she was instantly aggressive and threw the first punch, so Jenna did what she did best, and kicked the crap out of her. Stan seemed eternally grateful of her efforts, so she at least felt good about that. 

Before leaving, as she generally did, she searched through the home looking for snacks and weapons. When she came to Stan's room however, she did find something more interesting. In his desk was a photo of a dark haired girl wearing a purple beret and jacket. Jenna was instantly floored by how pretty she thought this girl was, and showed him the picture. 

"Oh her? That's Wendy Testaburger, she's my ex. I definitely don't like her anymore," Stan said awkwardly, giving the impression that he was still not over her. "She's really nice though, one of those PC girls or whatever." This caught her interest, as she hadn't found anyone actually inclusive in town or in general her age. Jenna looked at the photo again, and was much more interested than she had anticipated, she wanted to meet this girl and see what she was like. Pocketing the photo, they over on to assist Jimmy as well.

_____  
Jenna made her way to the farm up north, and met a farmer explaining the flute Jimmy wanted was in the barn. But, the cows had been acting funny and he didn't want to deal with them, leaving it to Jenna and co. to figure it out. 

They entered the barn and were met by 4 cows facing away. Jimmy called out to them to stop being bad, and when they turned they had been covered in Nazi paraphernalia and had been speaking in the same voice as the homeless man on the ship. The group attempted to subdue the cows, but rather than fight they blew themselves up, in essence winning the fight for Jenna. She knew there was something going on here, but decided to move on yet again, keeping the Nazis in mind. 

Jimmy was just as grateful as Stan, and once again she felt good and even more welcome within the ranks of the elves. Her decision would be much tougher than anticipated on whose side to choose, but she was given more time when she once again ran into a roadblock. 

Jenna had acquired the goods necessary to look the part of a goth, but that wasn't good enough for the oldest one. "You make look like a goth, but that doesn't mean you are a goth," he said. "Here, take this sign. Bring it to the PTA meeting and take a photo in front of them as proof. Do that and we will consider helping you." He passed her a sign that read 'Fuck the Conformists' and she went on her way to the community center to resolve this. 

She came in mid conversation amongst the parents and adults of the town, yelling about a Taco Bell that was to be built in town. Jenna stood still between the rows of people holding the sign, when Randy, who was on the PTA council, noticed her standing there. He called her out to explain what had happened last night, but she kept her mouth shut. Not only was the night scaring and near-unbelievable, it also wasn't her favorite thing to speak, especially in front of a crowd like this. Thankfully, another parent had cut her off and the crowd dispersed, leaving only the council left. 

Jenna figured this was her best chance and went for the table to take this photo, but she was stopped by Randy, who told her that there was something fishy going on with the new Taco Bell and she'd have to sneak in and find the truth if she wanted to take the picture. He also said that she had good control of her ass and to meet him in the bathroom. She almost thought to just outright leave, as that sounded creepy as hell, but decided to play along. If need be she could kick his ass. 

Once she entered however, she was surprised to see him dressed as a karate master. He explained to her another kind of fart to distract enemies, and demonstrated it by utilizing then punching her in the face. She attempted after and quickly got the hang of it, with Randy having her test it on Mr. Mackey, followed by Randy jump kicking him. She now knew a new move and was ready to complete the task he asked of her. 

So she went on her way towards the new "Taco Bell," which was oddly enough around where she remembered the alien ship crashing towards. She stood amonst a group of townspeople and listened to a man ask about enchiritos. The man he was attempting to ask was in a black government suit, and the whole thing was surrounded by military personnel. The man tried to deflect the questions, but the guy really wanted to know if there would be enchiritos. It must have been a serious question, as the next thing Jenna new, his head had a bullet in it and he was laid out. His wife just seemed confused, and Jenna wondered how dumb these people in South Park were. 

Afterwards, Jenna used her new fart skills to distract the guards and infiltrate the building. She used her new alien tech as well and was able to get into the building unnoticed, and climb into the vents. 

The conversation she caught was terrifying, as the men discussed how the alien ship was leaking green goo and making Nazi Zombies, which didn't make much sense but by this point Jenna was just rolling with it. They discussed destroying the city and blocking off what remained, and ended the meeting afterwards, with one guy pointing out how he recorded the conversation and would leave the recorder out. Jenna almost thought this was a trap, but apparently he was really just that dumb. Regardless, she grabbed the recorder and went for the exit. As she left, a zombie broke out and began killing guards. She quickly ended its second life and kept moving, trying to distance herself from this madness.


	6. Chapter 6

Having acquired the information she needed, Jenna returned to the Community Center, feeling accomplished, albeit a little concerned about what was happening in town. In less than 2 days Jenna had beaten up tons of individuals, been captured by aliens, and learned of a serious situation involving Taco Bell, aliens and zombies. There were so many unanswered questions, but she just needed to keep chugging forward. Hopefully doing all of this would yield some sense of normalcy, at least she hoped so. 

Jenna presented the evidence to Randy and the rest of the PTA, who seemed extremely greatful for her efforts. The rewarded her with the photo she needed holding the goths’ sign, as well as more Facebook friends. Now that she had access to the goths, Jenna had one last decision to make: side with Cartman or Kyle. 

On the one hand, Cartman’s group had been the first to take her in. Although Cartman himself was an asshole, Butters, Kenny and the others seemed nice enough. Jenna usually stuck with those her befriended her early on. On the other hand, Kyle’s group quickly bonded with her, treating Jenna kindly after working with her for such little time. On top of that, having the elves on her side meant not dealing with them all the time in the potential aftermath. 

In the end, she decided to join Kyle’s side, and alert the goths of their new allegiance. On a side note, being friends with Stan may help her learn more about this mysterious Wendy girl. That alone was enticing enough.   
—————————————  
The group was called together, and Kyle alerted everyone that Cartman’s group was hiding out in the school, guarding the Stick and preparing for battle. The elven army began its march to the school grounds, and prepared for battle. The attack commenced, and Jenna began the assault on the side of the building. Following the goth kids in, Jenna infiltrated the school and fought through numerous groups of children. She was relentless in her assault, dispatching of the boys with ease, and destroying the school from the inside. 

Eventually, Jenna did battle with Butters, who felt betrayed by her and refused to lose. In a serious fight, Jenna swung and slashed until the paladin was no more. She felt bad, as he had been so nice to her, but she couldn’t think twice about her actions, had she chosen the other side that could have just as easily been Stan. 

Jenna finally reached the fourth grade classroom, and was given one last chance to switch sides. She would not be persuaded, and began to do battle with the Wizard King. His “magic” was extremely powerful, as he laid into her with farts, fire and “lightning bolts.” Jenna was forced to fight back with her own abilities, and utilized what he taught her against him. Jenna used her farts to blow back his flames, and the Grand Wizard of the KKK was defeated. 

Just when they thought the battle was truly won, tragedy struck. Realization dawned on the group as they realized neither army had the stick, nor could it be in a desk, since their desks couldn’t open. At that moment, they received a video message from none other than Clyde, who revealed not only that he had the Stick, but he now had an army too...  
————————————-  
The two rival groups came together and rushed over to Clyde’s house to find a giant castle built in his backyard. Cartman called him out and said “Clyde, you were banished from time and space! You can’t have the Stick, that’s cheating!”

Clyde yelled down from his castle “Nuh uh, I have the Stick so that means I control the universe. And my army will defend me.” Just then kids began to pour out of every part of his elaborate structure, prepared for battle. “You cannot defeat my army! And it is too late, you lose!”

“What do you mean we lose?!” Kyle yelled. As he said that, his mother showed up, as did Cartman’s. 

“C’mon Kyle, it’s late and you need to go to bed,” Kyles mother stated. 

“Cartman sweetie, time to go home,” Cartman’s mom said sweetly. 

And just like that, the crowd dispersed, and Jenna was forced to return home as well, confused and annoyed. She finally felt like she got somewhere in this stupid game, and yet again something else had to happen. She sighed as she trudged home, and silently went to bed. She hoped just this one she’d have a good night’s sleep. She really needed to not jynx herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has been hiatus so long. I’ve been busy with life, graduation and job hunting. I started playing through the games again and was reinspired to finish this. Hopefully I’ll be able to update this more often :)


	7. Chapter 7

Jenna awoke to what sounded like a song. The lyrics were strange, something about underpants, but she had no idea what that entailed. In her daze she began to sit up and wipe her eyes. She glanced over to her dresser in time to see and hear several gnomes climbing upon each other singing a strange song. 

“Time to go to work! Work all night! Search for underpants HEY! We won’t stop till we have underpants! Yum tum tummy tum tayyyy!” They sang, as they ruffled through her underwear drawer.

Jenna was extremely disturbed, and nearly screamed. These little men were stealing her undies without a care in the world, and she didn’t know what to do. ‘First aliens, now this,’ she thought. ‘What the hell is going on in this town!’

Just then one of the gnomes noticed her sitting up and yelled out, “Holy shit! He’s awake!” 

“What?!” Yelled another. 

“Yeah this kid is awake!” 

“Oh shit, what do we do?!” Another asked the group. 

“Fuck, I don’t know!”

“I say we kill him!” The first announced. 

“Yeah let’s kill him!” the group yelled in unison. 

Jenna was extremely pissed now, and would not let these gnomes off easy, even if they were the only up to her ankles. She demolished the sons of bitches, knocking the crap out of them out of principle. These men touched her underwear, and she wasn’t letting them off that easy. 

“Oh fuck!” One yelled, “He’s too big! We gotta shrink him! Go ahead warlock!”

Just then another gnome appeared wearing a skull and necklaces. He proceeded to blow dust at Jenna, shrinking her to their size, and they tried to battle her again. Her anger boiled over by this point, and she pounded them into the ground, demoralizing and annihilating them. The warlock barely escaped through a mouse hole, and Jenna knew she’d have to capture him in order to turn back. The night was just beginning to get weird.   
————————-  
Following the mousehole caverns, she tredged along in search of the Warlock. Eventually she passed a vent grate, with a view of her parents’ room. They seemed to be comforting each other, and at first the moment seemed sweet. She noticed movement by the dresser, and new where she needed to head. At that moment however, the entire atmosphere of the room changed, an her parents were now naked going at it. 

‘Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!!!!!’ She mentally screamed. She vomited a little to her side and quickly ran from the view. ‘Why did I have to see that?! Why did they have to run in there?! Why?!?!?!’

Jenna swallowed her disgust and pushed on, hoping that the faster she found them the faster she could go back to her room and never speak of this again. She ran into the gnomes again trying to run down the dresser, and did battle with them. 

The Warlock ran off, and Jenna gave chase, until eventually she was literally under her parents. The graphic-ness amd just nastiness of it all started kicking in while she saw her dad plow her mom. How they didn’t see her she didn’t know. She narrowly evaded her father’s balls, and hit the gnome with one last striking blow. She acquired the dust, and just before she could escape, she was crushed under her mother’s breasts...  
——————-  
Jenna awoke hours later in her own bed. She had no idea how she got there, and was still reeling from the night before. She quickly got up to throw up into her trash, hopelessly trying to erase the images from her mind. She definitely wouldn’t have trouble not speaking to her parents for a while.


	8. Chapter 8

Jenna left home, and quickly was met with Stan, alerting her that they are to meet at Kyle’s to discuss planning for the Stick of Truth. They had been mocked yet Clyde, and Jenna wouldn’t take that lying down. She’d been beating these boys up the last few days, and another boy wouldn’t stop her. She was now too invested to lose. 

Before she would head to the Elven Forest, Jenna wanted to resolve some issues beforehand. She journeyed around South Park, completing quest after quest for the townspeople. She met and helped Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo resolve issues at home, and was by this point immune to any disgust she might have had since the night before. She also followed up with Al Gore who had blown up her Facebook with nonsense, trying to prove the existence of ManBearPig, and ended up kicking his ass twice. 

Finally, she utilized all of the abilities she had acquired so far to find all sorts of utilities and items to help in her quest. She New she’d need as many tools as possible to teach Clyde a lesson. Once she was satisfied, she went to Kyle’s to meet up and discuss the attack.

Upon getting there, Kyle began: “Ah, commander douchebag has decided to bless us with his presence... let’s get started...

“Humans and elves of Zaron. A great eveil has descended upon us. After researching last night, I believe we are facing a threat to our entire world.

“Clyde’s fortress of darkness is over four stories tall. So far, he has recruited at least fifty warriors to be on his team and he- ” Kyle was cut off mid sentence by Cartman, who began giggling in his seat. 

“Leave it to Kyle...” Cartman laughed. 

“You have something to say, wizard?” Kyle asked, annoyed. 

“Nothing. Just think it’s kind of funny how drow elves in the Middle Ages can use PowerPoint.” Cartman retorted. 

“You guys this is SERIOUS. Clyde is attempting to raise an army of darkness, I believe he is messing with something he can not control. He has recruited many of our friends and so... Our only hope is for our two factions to join forces.” Kyle finished. 

“Fuck. That. We do not team up with fucking elves” Cartman deflated angrily. 

“You got a better idea, Wizard fat ass?!” Stan questioned. 

“After what you did at the Battle of Wormsly Woods?! You think we’ll ever trust you?!” Butters announced.

“Yeah you tell him Butters!” Cartman agreed. 

“That was Jimmy’s fault and he apologized.” Stan stated. 

“Oh-oh is we’re apologizing now? How about we apologize for breaking the rule about using arcane fire magic?” Cartman angrily replied. 

“HEY! That was the human rule, not ours!!” someone yelled off to the side

“Join forces my paladin ass! Only good elf is a dead elf!” Butters said. Jenna had no idea about any of this last discressions so she remained still, listening in. 

“Why don’t you s-s-suck my eleven d-dick, Butters?” Jimmy stuttered. 

“Enough!” Kyle yelled. ”Whether we are human or elf isn’t going to matter ONE BIT if all of Zaron is taken over by GERMAN ZOMBIES! We SAW what that green stuff does. We BETTER figure out a way to stop Clyde or there won’t be a world to fight in.”

Stan responded, “Even if we join forces we don’t have enough warriors.”

“So we recruit more factions. The pirates. The federation. And - the Girls.” Kyle solemnly said.

“The Girls?!” Butters yelped!

”Kyle the girls aren’t gonna fuckin play with us.”fight man pointed out. Jenna akwardly ahufted in her seat, suddenly feeling a little awkward. She knew exactly where this was going. 

“Yeah dude, we can’t convince girls to do this.” Stan said. 

“No, but maybe the New Kid can. The New Kid has a power we have yet to understand. He makes friends on Facebook faster than anyone we have seen.” Kyle stated. 

“He is really good at getting Facebook feiends, I’ll give him that.” Cartman replied. 

“Find a way to get the Girls to side with us Commander Douchebag. I’ll deal with the other factions. The rest of you return to your stations and prepare for war., Kyle announced. 

“Huzzah!” They all yelled.

As the boys put away chairs and made preparations, Jenna started to get a little worried. She had no idea if the girls would catch her, and she was anxious to meet them, especially Wendy. After gathering some supplies, she headed out to meet up with Annie, who she met the first day and helped with some bullies. 

————-  
After walking through town, Jenna finally reached City Hall. There were now Nazi Zombies wandering around, which was probably the strangest thing Jenna had seen. Besides her parents of course. Once she spotted Annie, she handed her the letter from the boys. 

“What is this, the Boys want us to play with them?!” Annie questioned. “I do owe you one... I can take you to the girls... But I don’t think they’d be willing to play with boys... Do you wish to speak with them now?” Annie asked. Jenna simply nodded her head and was then blindfolded, probably to keep the hideout of the girls a secret. 

———  
When Jenna arrived, the blindfold was removed, and her eyes were forced to adjust to the light. After a moment, she realized she was in a large room full of the girls in her grade. They all each had their own individual tables, and at the back was a two person table, flanked by a large podium at which Wendy sat. 

Suddenly, Jenna was extremely nervous. Wendy looked beautiful, just like her photo. This put the biggest blush on her face, and she couldn’t help but stare. Wendy glanced at her and noticed this, and she suddenly blushed a little too. Or maybe it was just Jenna’s imagination. 

“The four hundred and twelfth meeting of the girls is hereby called to order. Sparkle Sparkle.” Wendy began. 

“Sunshine!” The room announced. 

“Sunshine sparkle, Millie Larson has the floor.” Lola stated. 

“If it pleases and sparkles, I move that we vote immediately on the urgent matter involving Monica Ryland,” one girl announced, most likely Millie. 

“Yes! For sure! All right/okay!” Everyone replied. 

“Excuse me, but I have an urgent matter that I believe needs to be addressed first.” Annie cut off. 

“The chair acknowledges Annie.” Wendy stated, now once again looking at Jenna. She gave a look for a moment, as if recognition hit her, and Jenna was now even more nervous. She didn’t want to be recognized as a girl just yet, she had just moved here and didn’t want to deal with her Dad breathing down her neck about giving herself away just yet. She promised her folks she’d try, but right now she didn’t know what would happen. 

“Sunshine sparkle, Annie Knitts has the floor.” Lola stated. 

“If it pleases and Sparkles, a messenger comes with a request from the Boys.” Annie replied. 

“Ew! Yuck! Gross!” Everyone yelled, besides Wendy and Annie. 

“What request do the boys have for us?” Wendy asked. The room fell silent, all eyes now on Jenna. For once she was glad to not speak, cause if she did she woulda choked on every word. 

“He... doesn’t really talk.” Annie stated. Another moment of silence. 

“That’s hot.” Bebe said. Some girls agreed. Wendy gave a sideways look at Bebe, then turned back to Jenna, giving her a nice smile. 

“The boys are playing some new role playing game and the New Kid here wants us to join his team.” Annie said.

“What?! We don’t have time for that! Something Very big happened and we Must do something.” Millie complained. 

“I know, I thought maybe he could Help.” Annie replied. 

“Oh... that’s not a bad idea. I glitter Annie’s idea.” said Bebe. 

”Sunshine, sparkle. A motion has been glittered to have the New Kid help with Monica Ryland.” Lola announced. 

“All right New Kid, look, there are terrible rumors going around town that our good friend Allie Nelson was spotted at the abortion clinic,” Wendy began. 

“I have never been to the abortion clinic! I’m not a whore!” Allie cried. 

“We aren’t sure, but we think the gir spreading rumors about Allie is Monica Ryland,” Wendy continued. 

“And then she has the gall to act all nice to me!” Allie yelled again.

“We have to know for sure if Monica Ryland is a two faced bitch or not. So, we are gonna send Monica a Facebook page with Your picture then tell her that your Bebe’a girl- I mean boyfriend from Lakewood, and you want to meet her to ask her what the best thing to get Bebe for her birthday would be, and see if Monica tries to hit on you at all because that way we can see if Monica is a manipulative bitch.” Wendy said. That hesitative moment where Wendy nearly said girlfriend proved Jenna’s thoughts were true. Wendy did see through her disguise. Jenna gulped, and hoped Wendy wouldn’t tell the others. 

“Right.” Bebe said, oblivious to the moment. 

“Do this task for us and the girls will consider your request. Sparkles!” Wendy finally finished. 

“Sunshine!” everyone yelled. Annie once again made a move to blindfold Jenna. Right before she did, “Jenna gave one last parting look to Wendy, who stealthly winked and smiled at Jenna. That last look quite literally almost knocked Jenna on her ass. She had no idea how she’d make it back. 

———-  
“You’ll find Monica at the park. All you have to do is pretend to be Bebe’s long distance boyfriend. When the job is done come see me.” Annie told her once they were back at City Hall. With that, Jenna went on her way to the park, to meet this “two-faced bitch.” There was no way this could turn out well.


	9. Chapter 9

Once Jenna arrived at the park, she saw Monica sitting on a bench. She trudged over, knowing full well how something like this might play out. 

“Oh hi! You must be Mike...” Monica began. Jenna sat next to her and waited. She had no idea why Mike was the name the Girls chose, but it wasn’t that important. “So... you wanna talk about Bebe huh? Well, look... Bebe’s my friend, I think she’s really great.” 

The way this was going, Jenna knew her feelings were right. Monica continued on about how Bebe was cool, but not as cool as her. She also referred to her as a two-faced bitch, which seemed to be the term to use around here by Girls about girls. Just as the flirting seemed to progress, Bebe, Wendy and Red appeared. 

“Aha!” Bebe exclaimed. “We knew it you two faced manipulative whore!!!!!”

“What the heck?!” Monica questioned. 

Wendy replied, “thank God we asked the New Kid to find out the truth about you, huh girls?”

“Yeah, now we know you’re a two faced bitch!” Red yelled. That was definitely the term to use. 

“What’dya mean? You guys are my best friends!” Monica responded. 

“Then why are you hitting on my Facebook boyfriend?! We brought someone else who might be interested!” Bebe exclaimed. Just then, a taller boy appeared, seemingly fuming. 

“Hey, what’s going on here? Monica, what the Fuck are you doing?!” He questioned. 

“Uh Oh... Hey Jake,” Monica akwardly said. 

“Have fun you two faced skank,” Red said. With that the girls walked off, Monica chasing behind asking for forgiveness. 

Jenna sighed to herself cause she knew what was about to happen, so she ignored whatever it was Jake was about saying and proceeded to kick his ass. It was nothing personal, she just didn’t want to deal with this crap. These girls resolved they’re problems pretty poorly, and Jenna figured she’d have to jut go along with this a little further. 

As she prepared to leave however, she heard a noise from the trees near the back. 

“Pssst!” A voice whisper-called. “Over here New Kid!” The voice sounded familiar, so Jenna warily went over to investigate. As she walked around a tree, there was Wendy, and Jenna’s mind stopped. ‘Oh shit!’ Jenna thought. ‘I’m so screwed. She knows I’m a girl and she’s gonna tell everyone!’

Wendy shyly smiles at her, and waved her closer. Jenna gulped and slowly inches forward.

“Don’t worry New Kid, I don’t bite!” Wendy giggled. The sound was cute to Jenna’s ears, and she began to feel her cheeks warm up. 

“So New Kid, I have a feeling that there’s something you haven’t told anyone here, huh?” Jenna stared at her, waiting what she had to say. “It’s okay you know, I won’t judge. But just tell me the truth, are you a girl?”

Right then the whole world stopped. Jenna had no idea what she should say, and at that moment decided she finally needed to let some venting finally out. So she did exactly what her parents told her not to do, and nodded her head. She looked down, refusing to make eye contact. 

“I knew it!” Wendy exclaimed. “I could tell by your face. You’re way too pretty to be a boy!” At that Jenna blushed harder than she had ever before. No one besides her folks had ever said she was pretty, and hearing it from the prettiest girl she’d ever seen was melting her insides. 

After a moment of silence, Jenna spoke aloud for the first time in a very long time. She whispered, “You think I’m pretty?” At that Wendy audibly gasped, taken aback that Jenna actually spoke. 

Wendy took a moment to compose herself before saying, “I never thought I’d hear you talk... you have a wonderful voice.... and yeah, I do think you’re pretty.” Wendy started blushing again. 

If Jenna thought she was gonna die before, now she thought she already did. There was no way this was happening right now. But she held on, and spoke again. “Thanks.... I think you’re really pretty too. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen...” she whispered the last part, not even acknowledging that it came out in the first place. 

At that, Wendy gave her the biggest smile she’d ever seen. Wendy asked, “I was wondering, would you wanna, I don’t know, hang out or something after all this? I wanna get to know you, the real you better. I don’t wanna bombard you now with questions about why you’re hiding, but maybe sometime soon I could? If you don’t mind that is, I can tell talking isn’t easy for you.” 

Jenna smiled and nodded her head. She was on cloud 9 by this point, and never thought she’d get down from this high. So she pulled out her phone and exchanged numbers with Wendy, texting her that it’s easier for her to text than talk, especially to keep others from hearing her voice. Wendy smiled and said, “Sounds great! I might text you here and there to check in, and ask questions if you don’t mind.” Jenna nodded. “Well then, I’ll let you go, and I’ll probably see you again shortly when you come back to our base. Before I go though, I just wanna know, what’s your name? Your real name.”

“Jenna,” Jenna whispered. “Jenna Rodriguez. But my parents call me J for short so I sound more like a boy.”

Wendy smiled again, and said, “okay Jenna, I’ll see you soon! And just so you know, your name fits with a cutie like you!” Wendy winked at her once last timeand went off, leaving Jenna standing there with the largest smile on her face. Maybe she would be okay in this town. 

——————  
Later on she met up with Annie to return to the girls’ base. She was now more excited and anxious than ever, and couldn’t wait to see Wendy again. It had literally been 5 minutes, and yet Jenna was still that excited. Which makes her nervous. Cause if Wendy was just being nice then her heart was gonna break. And if she was seriously calling her cute then she was gonna scream with joy. 

The blindfold was removed again, and she was once again presented to the group of girls. Wendy sat at her usual position, with a smile on her face, and definitely a little bit of a blush. Jenna smiled back and waited for the meeting to begin. 

Wendy kicked it off by saying, “New Kid, we want to thank you for helping us determine whether or not Monica started the rumor. She really made us mad, but it turns out she couldn’t have been the one spreading the rumors about Allie Nelson going to the abortion clinic.”

“Yeah, so we made up,” Allie followed up. 

Monica responded, “You guys are the best!” Jenna was really confused about the logic to this, since no matter what Monica tried to cheat against Bebe, but this wasn’t her call. She just wanted to move on so she could beat up Clyde then see Wendy. She didn’t give a shit about these politics. 

Wendy follows up and pointed out, “You see, Heidi Turner was supposed to put on the Facebook page that you were Bebe’s boyfriend, but she didn’t!”

“Because Heidi Turner is a two faced bitch who says she likes me then tries to stab me in the back!” Monica announced angrily. 

“Right! So we need to know if Heidi Turner is the one who’s spreading rumors about Allie being spotted at the abortion clinic,” Wendy stated. Before she continued, she gave a smile and wink towards Jenna, as if signaling something before continuing. “But in order to do that, we need people to think... you’re a girl!” 

That moment may have been one of the happiest Henna had had besides speaking with Wendy alone since moving to South Park. They began to give her a makeover and dress her up, and she finally felt like a girl again. Wendy gave her some great fashion tips, fully knowing that Jenna would take those into account when she could eventually be a girl in the open again. By the end of it all, she was prepped, pretty, and sent on her way with a few others to scout out the clinic. 

—————-  
“All right New Kid. Get inside the abortion clinic and find the records room. Take a picture from all the records of the last week and text them to me,” Wendy told her outside the clinic. “That will hel is find out who it is. I’m sure you can appreciate why none of us can do this.”

“If any of us are spotted in there, people might think we’re sluts like Jessica Rodriguez!” Bebe proclaimed. That irked Jenna, and Wendy could tell by the face Jenna made. Wendy smacked Bebe and gave her a nasty look, shutting Bebe down completely. 

At that moment, the aforementioned Jessica cane walking by and said, “Hey guys! What’re you up to?”

Bebe responded, “Oh nothing, just finding out which of our friends is a two faced bitch!”

“Cool! We’ll see you around!” Jesse said. At that she began to walk off. 

“Skank,” Bebe said under her breath, and again Wendy smacked her. “What’s your problem Wendy? She’s a slut, who cares?”

“She’s not a slut and you know it Bebe! Now quiet down,” Wendy angrily said. Jenna figured that Wendy was the caring one and seemed to be a lot different from these other girls, which made her feel all the better about liking her. 

They finished explaining the plan, and Jenna began to head for the abortion clinic. Right before she entered however, she was stopped from behind by Wendy. 

“Don’t listen to them Jenna, they all are fake as hell. I try to be mindful of others but sometimes I just wanna kill them sometimes, ya know?” Jenna nodded warmly. “Anyways, good luck in there.” Then she did something completely unexpected, she gave her a tight hug. “I’ll see you soon! Just be careful, with all that’s going on I don’t want anything to happen to you!” They both blushed hard after that, and Wendy scurried off, turning to give a smile and continue on.

——————  
Jenna had probably the worst abortion experience imaginable. The doctor was obviously a buffoon, and attempted to give her an abortion through her ass, which made absolutely no sense. Her skills learned from combat allowed her to short circuit the machine, causing the doctor to leave and giving her a chance to put on the spare scrubs in the room. She went to the records room and acquired her info she needed. 

Just then, Randy fell from the top of a cabinet and discussed with her how the PTA was looking further into the Taco Bell situation. As the conversation continued, two agents entered the room and threatened to kill the pair, claiming they knew too much. Suddenly, their machine, the ESRB said there was a contamination, and they called in more goons. 

They started restraining nurses and doctors, and killed one since he was German, before locking Jenna in the room to ‘secure the sector.’ She needed to get out of here, and fast. She shrunk down and got to another room, to find Randy in drag pretending to need an abortion. They tried to plan an escape, but two more agents came in and threatened the pair, claiming they were Nazis. So Jenna had to give Randy an abortion, which was just awful. But, her skills worked, and they got to live on. 

Eventually she nearly made it to the exit, only to be stopped by that largest fetus she’d ever seen. That may have been one of the grossest encounters to date, but she chugged on and killed it. She just hoped all of this would yield some good results.


	10. Chapter 10

As Jenna proceeded to City Hall to once again be blindfolded, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She has just received a text from none other than Wendy, putting a smile on her face. 

Wendy had texted, “Hey, r u okay?? Heard what happened at the clinic! Pls let me know you’re safe!”

“I’m fine, thanks for checking in! It was crazy, I’ll tell you all about it sometime!”

“Glad to hear you’re safe :)”

“Guess I should get into trouble more often, huh? Just so you can text me lol” Jenna sent this one feeling a little nervou, hoping she wouldn’t come on too strong. It took Wendy a minute or two before she responded. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you think you’re soooo smooth ;)”

Jenna took a chance and texted “Maybe... mostly cause I think you’re super cute ;)”

Wendy again took some time before responding, “We’ll talk about this later, get your butt over here tho, we have an update”

“Will do, meeting Annie now, see you soon!”

“See ya!”

Jenna put her phone away and made her way to Annie to meet the girls at their base. After being blindfolded and walking again, she was presented to the group once again. 

Jenna looked up at Wendy, who was as usual the leader of the group. Wendy looked at her for a moment before blushing and looking away quickly, looking just a little uncomfortable. Jenna hoped she didn’t scare her off, Wendy may have been PC but that didn’t mean she was gay, who Jenna needed to realize this and ease off the gas. 

Wendy began, “New Kid, the girls are very thankful for you texting us the abortion records.”

Bebe continued, “We are one step away from finding out which girl among us is a two faced bitch.” Jenna was starting to get really annoyed at these girls sans Wendy, who seemed so conceited and uncaring. It bothered the crap out of her. 

“Unfortunately, the records keeper was from Paris so everything is written in French,” Wendy continued. 

“Whoever this two faced bitch is thinks she can outsmart us!” Millie exclaimed. 

Wendy continued, “We want to help you and the boys play your game, but we can’t have a liar and jerk out there on the loose. Just get these documents translated for us and we promise we will join your army. Sparkle!”

“Sunshine!”

—————  
Jenna quickly left after that, annoyed that she needed to continue this farce. These girls seemed to form opinions on a whim, then double cross or go back whenever they needed something. It was frustrating as hell for her. Why they couldn’t just treat each other the same or just be consistent she didn’t know. 

Jenna’s phone vibrated again, and just like last time it was Wendy. She had wanted to apologize about making Jenna go on this wild goose chase, and felt bad that her hands were tied. Jenna was grateful that at least Wendy cared, and hoped maybe someday some of these girls might be the same. 

“Good luck in getting it translated btw!”

“Thanks, I don’t know where to go from here tho”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you can figure it out! You’re smart :)”

“Thanks Wendy, you def know ho to cheer a girl up :)”

“After all this, would you wanna... idk... maybe have a sleepover? We usually have a few girls hang out together at night. They might be weird about it seeing as they think your a girl, but if you want you’re more than welcome!”

Jenna had no idea what to say here. On the one hand she really wanted to. This would give her an opportunity to be herself at least a little. On top of that she’d get to see Wendy. On the other hand, her folks would kill her. In the end, she decided that she’d need some time. 

“Gotta talk to my folks about it, I’ll let you know ASAP!”

“Sounds great!! Good luck again!!! And please please please be careful!”

“I will, I gotta make sure I can back so we can talk remember? lol”

“Definitely!”

—————  
Jenna decided the best course of action was to bring the note to the boys. They may know French or at least know someone who does. When she arrived at the elven forest, Kyle gathered the main boys around to discuss planning. 

Kyle took the note and relayed to the group, “I think this note is important to the girls. I think the New Kid needs our help.”

Stan grabbed the note from him and attempted to read it aloud. However, he had no idea how to read any of it and butchered most of it. In the end, it was just jibberish to them. 

Cartman thought about it before stating, “its some kind of weird orcish. I’ve seen this language before. In the Kingdom to the North.”

“So whatever is written on this note is somehow the key to us recruiting the girls to our army,” Stan concluded. “Is that what you are trying to say New Kid?”

Jenna quietly stood there, staring blankly, waiting for someone to ‘take the mic’ from her so she wouldn’t have to speak. Jimmy chimes in trying to get her to talk, but she still wouldn’t. 

Cartman seemed to be done waiting, and made his way to a box nearby full of supplies. He stated “Getting the dovuments translates won’t be easy...” He then pulled out a passport from the box and presented it to Jenna. “To breach the Kingdom to the North you must assume another identity. For now, you will be known as Larry Bobinski. You’ll have to go to Photo Dojo and get a proper photo taken for the passport.”

“In order to get there, the fastest route is to go north, then north again. North, and then north some more,” Kyle chimed in. Be careful out there New Kid.”

—————  
Jenna arrived at the Photo Dojo, and was told to head to the back for her photo. She had changed out of the makeover clothes for the sake of armor, but had refused to remove the makeu or wig. The hair reminded her of hers from before she moved here, and she missed the look deeply. The man seemed unphased though, still expecting she was a girl. 

“That outfit isn’t gonna work,” he said. “Do you have any other clothes to wear?”

Jenna stared at him a moment, before deciding to head to the changing curtain and switch into her hoodie and jeans. The man once again prepared the camera. 

“Wait, the lighting in here is awful, I think the shirt is messing up the photo. Just lose the shirt and we should be okay.” Jenna refused. 

However, the man seemed adamant, and tried to nag her into taking it off. He seemed like he was about to go ballistic, but Jenna was firm. Just then the real photographer awoke from what could be seen as knocked out, and revealed that the fake photographer was just a pedophile. Jenna was so angry she nearly killed the man, slicing and smashing him until she was certain he wouldn’t be walking for a very long time, if ever. Her photo was then taken by the real photographer. Now all she had to do was go to Canada.


End file.
